Dogs are told to be best friends of human. But once more than a best friend to me. And his name was Tosun.
A much as I remembered; one of my fathers friend gave him up to my father. When I first saw him , he was in an empty Halley box, screaming and crying. He was only two weeks old. Although the man had told my father that the pupy was hungry, still his stomach was very big. So he deserved his name in that moment.
Tosun was a pureblood English setter. There were two gigantic ears at each side of his head, two beautiful red eyes and a pink wet nose.He was my guard when I was seven. He escorted me to school, and he took me back everyday. I never walked that long road alone thanks to him. He was an interesting dog. he watched my all football matches, went to swimming with me and most importantly to me he was with me in my first fighth. ( The boy whom I fight with was Sami , 1 of my best friend now and Tosun bit him two or three times :) )
We shared 13 beautiful years. And something began to change. At first we were not awere that he was too old for a setter. But thanks to a vet we learnt. Every passing day he moved less and less. And suddenly one day I lost my best friend.
Today still I'm thinknig about him sometimes. And it's not just me that misses him. My father still hides it strap and there is a photo of tosun in my mothers wallet next to our photos
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But once more than a best friend to me. And his name was Tosun.So he deserved his name in that momentAnd something began to change.But thanks to a vet we learnt.And suddenly one day I lost my best friend.And it's not just me that misses him.
YanıtlaSil(PLEASE DONT BEGIN A SENTENCE WITH "BUT" ,"SO" AND "AND"
When I first saw him , he was in an empty Halley box, screaming and crying.("HE WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING"-->IT WILL BE BETTER LIKE THIS
YOUR TOPIC AND THESIS STATEMENT IS GOOD BUT THERE IS NO BACK GROUND INFORMATIN.CONTENT IS GOOD
Dear Halil,
YanıtlaSilThis is an interesting descriptive essay. Why don't you improve it? Look at my suggestions in the text.
First the title.
"Dogs are told to be best friends of human(beings). ???But once more than a best friend to me. ?? (improve this sentence) And his name was Tosun.
A much as I remembered; one of my fathers(') friend gave him ???up to my father. When I first saw him , he was in an empty Halley box, screaming and crying. He was only two weeks old. Although the man had told my father that the pupy was hungry, still his stomach was very big. So he deserved his name in that moment.
Tosun was a pure?blood English setter. There were two gigantic ears at each side of his head, two beautiful red eyes and a pink wet nose.He was my guard when I was seven. He escorted me to school, and he took me back everyday. I never walked that long road alone thanks to him. He was an interesting dog. he watched ???my all football matches, went to swimming with me and most importantly to me he was with me in my first fighth. ( The boy whom I (fought)fight with was Sami , ???1 of my best friend(s) now ???and Tosun bit him two or three times :) )
We shared 13 beautiful years. And something began to change. At first we were not aw(a)ere that he was too old for a setter. But thanks to a vet we learnt (?What). Every passing day he moved less and less. And suddenly one day I lost my best friend.
Today still I'm ???thinknig about him sometimes. And it's not just me that misses him. My father still hides it(s) strap and there is a photo of tosun in my mother(')s wallet next to our photos.
hi halil actually I don't like animals so much but you told very nice:). I liked this essay, there are some mistakes but your essay is good one:)
YanıtlaSilhi halil . actually I don't like animals so much but you told very nice.I liked it
YanıtlaSilyour thesis statement is good but i can't see background information when i read it.And your topic is very good. your essay is very interesting for me.:)))))
YanıtlaSildear halil
YanıtlaSilaccording tome you have an interesting essay.you have some grammatical mistakes and you can still improve essay
hi halil
YanıtlaSili agree with betül and i want to say that your essay's body part is really good.i thnk you know animals very well and you love them very much so you can talk about them perfectly.You can add more detail so you can improve your essay but i like your essay.thanks to you i lke animals one more time
hi halil
YanıtlaSilyour essay is reaaly interesting.you have some mistakes but it is ok.you can give extra information to improve your writing.At last i like your essay.it is a good one